The 2 Voices Inside..

It was a Saturday evening. I was driving towards the hospital to collect my medical reports. On a usual day, it is just a 20 mins drive. However that day I felt it like 20 hours long journey. Numerous thoughts kept peeping my mind about my report, and I must admit that majority of them were negative.

I was all on my own struggling with those thoughts and wondering what is going to happen to me next. I sensed 2 voices inside me debating with each other – one was voice of fear and the other was voice of faith.

For some reason, the voice of fear was taking stronger on me. It made me think of all the worst situations that will come my way if my report is bad. It made me visualise scenarios that scared me to my depth.

Then there was a silent and calm voice of faith, not at all showing its dominance; just trying to explain me that things will be fine and I should not be worrying so much; telling me not to be scared as even if there is any problem, there is a solution as well.

Again as I said, the voice of fear was so powerful that I wasn’t even listening to my voice of faith. I was so much taken away by the voice was fear that I had already decided in my mind my report is going to be worse for me to handle.

To my surprise – a pleasant one, reality was something very different. 🙂

When I reached hospital, it took me so many guts to open the reports. It was all normal. Thankfully, there was really nothing for me to worry.

That was the time my thinking cap started turning right and made me realise that I have spent so much time worrying about things that were not even certain. They were just probabilities and I gave them so much importance.

On the other side, my voice of faith was true and was guiding me right but I ignored it completely.

Then was the STRONG question to myself – WHY did I do so?

I reflected back in my past and observed that there were many such occasions when I feared so much which wasn’t needed– in my school days when my exam result were going to be out, in my higher education when I feared of not getting a good job that I would want to do, in my job when I wasn’t sure of delivering my KRAs. Memories of such incidents shook me from inside.

There is so much of fear around us. Fear of losing our loved ones, fear of failure, fear of defeat, fear of struggle. Again the same question – why do we fear so much?

I am not talking about being afraid of the dark, or being afraid of heights. Phobias aside, there are things that we absolutely dread the thought of. Fear has a stronger grip on our life than we think.

Voice of faith is a deep knowing that something is true although there may not be physical evidence or a way to prove it to others. It encourages us to move forward and not slow down with the influence of fear. It gives us confidence of a happy life. 🙂

Then, why do we not listen to that soft voice of faith that will give us peace of mind? Does it not always reassure us of a solution to every problem? Does is not show us way out of our trauma? Why do we ignore it then?

Even I couldn’t find an answer to this “why” yet. However I did realise that I should be listening to this inner voice of faith to get rid of the negativities in my mind.

I do need to give my best in any and every situation and leave it to faith for good things to happen to me.

I know it’s not going to be easy. It needs a lot of hard work and practise of mind.

However as is it said – well begun is half done. 🙂

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