Sundays for working women are typically the most hectic ones. All the preparation done on this day defines how smooth or chaotic the week ahead is going to be. Hence, there is a constant caution given to the lazy mind not to get distracted seeing the cozy pillows and the bed and the TV and the “rest day” theory labelled for this “action packed” day.
However, as most of the poets would agree, mind has limited control over a strong heart and if heart has a strong desire to convince us that we need rest for ourselves, no power on earth can control this happenings.
Last Sunday was a similar story for me. Morning was a motivated one, with a to-do list ready over a cup of coffee and a clear plan on goals of the day and an achievers feeling about my great planning skills.
My day was flowing well, exactly as per my plan. And then came a trailer on the TV. Coming soon – movie – the lost world. Something in me got hooked to it. Not that I love seeing the scary dinosaurs, but the title – THE LOST WORLD.
I sat and thought to myself. Where is my world? Am I living in it? Or is it lost as well? These questions disturbed me. Come on, what all nonsense are you thinking – said my inner self. But deep down, I knew. These questions were real. They were staring at me, waiting for answers – the REAL answers.
My thoughts kept wandering. Has life become just a routine to follow? Or a race to ensure perfection, hoping someone will appreciate it – and then hiding the disappointment behind an “understanding” face?
Where are the laughs that had no reason, just had a comfort of being together? Where are the dreams that kept me energised to face every day? Where are the success stories that made me feel an achiever? Where are the failures that reinforced presence of my dear ones when I needed a shoulder?
Has it become a rat race? Really?
All the motivational books and the inspiring blogs teach us that life is how we take it. Our positive thoughts are going to shape a positive and happy life for us. Listen to music and you will feel good, watch a movie, get that immersive experience and come out of the theatre with a feeling of – let me do something!
But is that what the heart wants? How much can you really motivate yourself? What if someone just did something to make you smile? What if someone just cared enough about your feelings? What if answer to all your frustrations was just a hug away? What if someone was with you – just unconditionally?
Aren’t these magical things more powerful than those external stories from the outside world?
I was left with a messy mind, with questions travelling in all directions. Still.
And then my ears heard an innocent voice – Mumma, I am hungry! 🙂 🙂
May be god has his own way of reminding you of what you should care about, what is important and what makes your life beautiful!!
Since last couple of days, I have come across a lot of articles on mothers – working and non-working ones.
The working mothers most of the times feel the pressure of managing family and work – they carry a bit of guilt of not spending enough time with their kids and how they sometimes miss the most important moments when their kids are growing.
On the other hand, there are feelings expressed by the non-working ones that reflect how they choose motherhood over career, how they left their well-paying settled jobs just to be with their kids and cherish each and every moment.
And then I sit and wonder – where do I fit in?
As the mother’s day approach near, I would like to tell something to you my son – through this letter.
I want to tell you, that I am a working woman and I work because I have the passion to work – more than the need. I enjoy the status of “getting noticed” in the crowd. I dream of being a respectable and recognised professional. I work to fulfil my ambitions.
Then you may have a question for me – that – mom, are your dreams and ambitions more important than me?
No, my son, absolutely not. You are the most precious gift I have got in my life. There is nothing more important than you – not even my own self.
I stepped back from my dreams when you came in my life, and I will always do the same whenever you will need my complete attention – without any second thought.
But by me working, there are a lot of lessons I can teach you – that may not be as effective otherwise.
Do remember my son, I don’t want to teach you feminism, I want to cultivate that in you by giving you those experiences. I want you to know that like your dad, your mom shares equal responsibilities and enjoy equal authority at home.
I want you to remember that as I have you in my life, I have my parents too, who have struggled enough to ensure I succeed in life. Would it be a nice thing to be dependent on my spouse to take care of them? Or should I leave them with whatever available resources they have – even though I have the capabilities to give them a better life?
Yes I do miss some moments where I wish I didn’t have this hat of a working women. But then, don’t I have hats of all other relations that I maintain within the family? Aren’t there times when I was away from you for a family emergency in your grandparent’s home. So my son, don’t relate my working with me being away from you. We just have a lot of things to manage at the same time.
You may say that, mom, you only taught me that money can’t buy happiness. My son, don’t ever under estimate working with earning. Earning is one benefit why people work, but then there are many more such things above money – satisfaction, self-respect, confidence – a complete package.
Money is the mean to lead a life as per your wish. Money is not life.
Whether working or not working, your smile is the most affectionate thing I crave for. Your upbringing is the most important responsibility of my life.
I take pride in ensuring that I capable of being your support system – in whichever form you need. I am a happy person and I want you to be the same – without guilts, without sacrifices, without any burden on the heart.
I just have a silent wish – that when you grow up as a mature adult – you come to me and say – Mumma, I am proud of you!
My mom – the first one to know me when I was not even born. The one who cared me before me seeing this world, the one who understood me before even me understanding myself. The first and the most special relation I made in my life.
That’s what god says – “just because I can’t be present everywhere, I have given you a mom” 🙂
When I was born, my mom would have felt that I completed her world. I am sure she spent all these years dreaming about my future, praying for my well-being, protecting me from all the evils of the world.
In my childhood, she molded me to be a good human-being, gave me values of life that define what I am today, became a teacher (rather the most strict teacher :P) so I get the importance of education, played with me as a friend, taught me value of social life and the various relations that we hold. She sacrificed her own dreams for me and would have seen them come true through me.
Like a potter, she molded the pot of my life ♥
As I grew to the most rebellion age of teen, friends became priority. Mom became a character who imposes restrictions all the time. Listening to friends and being with them all the time was like a prestige of life, ignoring what mom had to say about it. Mom was like a old-fashioned person in life. Though I loved her so much that time as well, I never bothered to tell her the same. She was more of a person whom I can take for granted anytime and everytime.
Mom silently absorbed all that and still kept caring the same way as she was.
Then came the age of early twenties. Mind and heart were full of dreams of bright future, college, career. Enjoyment of life was at the fullest. New friends, new jobs, new environments kept coming and going and I got too involved in these attractions. Mom was at home, for me, just to be informed where I am. That’s it. Yeah, sometimes to order her to cook my favorite dishes.
Mom still adapted to whatever I did.
When I told her that I want to marry the person I love, of course her dreams of my marriage would have got scattered. However, just for my happiness, she agreed and made sure the biggest event of my life was made the most memorable one.
Even today, when I am busy managing work and home, she keeps calling me everyday to know my well-being. Sometimes I speak with her sometimes, sometimes disconnect her calls when I am in meetings, sometimes forget to call her back due to work, but she has not given up her consistency.
That’s what my mom is!!
Today, when I am taking this journey to be a mom soon, I realize what all my mom has done for me and what all I have given her in return.
Of course I never forgot my responsibilities towards her health, towards giving her those small surprises on her birthday and all, but when I look at what she has done for me, they all look too small to be done for her.
I feel lucky to have her in my life and feel sorry that I couldn’t do much for her that she really deserved.
I feel like silently putting my head in her lap and ask her forgiveness. I am sure whatever stage of life I am, my mom’s lap is the most secure place for me in this whole world where I will get unconditional love without any second thought.
Love you mom!
In our life, we have many relations around, many roles to play and each one is unique in its own way. Let it be a daughter, sister, wife or just a friend – every emotion forms a relation that keeps our going.
Why are relationships so important in our life?
Because we are humans with love to feel things. Because we are social beings who cannot stay alone. We need people around. Because we love to share and care. Because we are protective about our people. 🙂
❤ There are some relations that we cannot live without and some that are good to have in our social circle. Every string an integral part of our life, the reason of our smiles and cries ❤
Every relation has its own high and low tide. It sometimes touches the sky, sometimes get beaten by the earth. It has love and fights, care and arguments, understandings and misunderstandings – a complete rollercoaster in our life! 🙂
When we are going strong in a relation, everything around us seems perfect! Every small incident makes us happy, we smile, we feel special – on cloud 9!
When we are in the low phase, good seems bad, nothing really works for us, we feel unwanted in this world! Worse than a devil. 😦
Does that mean its end of the relation? No, not really.
I was very impressed with a dialogue in the movie “English Vinglish” which says there are times when people in a relation help each other to grow, to come out of the low phase, but when nothing seems like a help – HELP YOURSELF. You are the best person to help you!
This is the most important part of life – HELPING yourself to make the relation work. Love yourself, get rid of the negativity, try to trust, try to fill up the gaps in expectations. If you do so, life will give the happiness back to you, you will see things in a new way, you will enjoy the freshness of your life!
Quite impressive, isn’t it?
Lets enjoy the rollercoaster of every relation! After all, they are the ones that matter most! 🙂 😎
As I grew older, I understood the deeper meaning of this concept. Phoenix symbolizes renewal, transformation from your old self to a new one, a change for good, a new life with new aspirations and fresh mind. Its an inspiration to metamorphose your self.
Last 2 weeks were a bit crazy for me. A 9-day long break from office and “no agenda” at home made my mind almost a vacuum. First 2 days were so relaxed, just sleeping eating, watching TV, and doing NOTHING at all that’s productive. A complete rejuvenation! 😛
Then came a time when my mind started peeping inside in search of something I always wanted to do, wanted to become, and wasn’t really taking an effort for it.
It’s said that empty mind is devil’s workshop however for me it turned out to be a “google search within” 🙂
I started making list of things I would want to do in my life – small and big – from being punctual at office to start meditating to controlling my food habits (which is the biggest and most challenging one is the list I think) 😛 I figured that personally and professionally I need to make myself better in certain aspects whether its decision making, keeping patience at times or just letting go things that create a turbulence.
I also realized that I am very good at beginning new things but most of times loose my grip in continuing them after a while. Hence most of the things I had started were unfinished, left incomplete. Sigh!
I didn’t want this to repeat and hence for the next 2-3 days I only looked at the list to make sure my mind is all prepared to start and continue with what all I want.
This week, I tested myself on it and to my surprise, I was able to achieve my desires seamlessly. I didn’t miss any of the things put on paper. I am calmer than before, feeling light, laughing aloud, streamlining thoughts, making way out from my own confusions, taking decisions rationally.
Overall, feels like a rebirth from the older version to be a better, happier and a satisfied me. A colourful life ahead of me!
Isn’t it rise of phoenix within? 🙂
How many times have you felt heavy at heart for carrying hatred, anger, disappointment?? I am sure the obvious answer for most of us is “numerous times”. We are humans and we do have all kinds of feelings in our heart. Though we cherish happy times, the sorrowful feelings stay longer in us.
As we walk through our life, it’s inevitable that we come across people that are good and bad, we encounter experiences that are happy and sad. Many a times, we are the ones, not others who take wrong decisions, incorrect choices and get into depression.
What do we do with these heavy feelings then? Do we carry them along making our life melancholy? Do we keep thinking about them and feel tragic all the time? If yes, is that right?
There is these thoughts that are tickling my mind recently – Why to carry the awful memories, the feelings that make us feel worse. Instead can we just forget and move? Is it our hands to make ourselves light and free from bitterness? What do we achieve by not forgiving?
Well, I know it is not easy to forget some hurts, some heartbreaks – but is it worth a try?
I have stepped on this path to learn the “The Art of Forgiving”. First, to forgive myself for all the regrets I have and then to others!
Are you with me in this journey?
Is there anyone you need to forgive today?