Sundays for working women are typically the most hectic ones. All the preparation done on this day defines how smooth or chaotic the week ahead is going to be. Hence, there is a constant caution given to the lazy mind not to get distracted seeing the cozy pillows and the bed and the TV and the “rest day” theory labelled for this “action packed” day.
However, as most of the poets would agree, mind has limited control over a strong heart and if heart has a strong desire to convince us that we need rest for ourselves, no power on earth can control this happenings.
Last Sunday was a similar story for me. Morning was a motivated one, with a to-do list ready over a cup of coffee and a clear plan on goals of the day and a achievers feeling about my great planning skills.
My day was flowing well, exactly as per my plan. And then came a trailer on the TV. Coming soon – movie – the lost world. Something in me got hooked to it. Not that I love seeing the scary dinosaurs, but the title – THE LOST WORLD.
I sat and thought to myself. Where is my world? Am I living in it? Or is it lost as well? These questions disturbed me. Come on, what all nonsense are you thinking – said my inner self. But deep down, I knew. These questions were real. They were staring at me, waiting for answers – the REAL answers.
My thoughts kept wandering. Has life become just a routine to follow? Or a race to ensure perfection, hoping someone will appreciate it – and then hiding the disappointment behind an “understanding” face?
Where are the laughs that had no reason, just had a comfort of being together? Where are the dreams that kept me energised to face every day? Where are the success stories that made me feel an achiever? Where are the failures that reinforced presence of my dear ones when I needed a shoulder?
Has it become a rat race? Really?
All the motivational books and the inspiring blogs teach us that life is how we take it. Our positive thoughts are going to shape a positive and happy life for us. Listen to music and you will feel good, watch a movie, get that immersive experience and come out of the theatre with a feeling of – let me do something!
But is that what the heart wants? How much can you really motivate yourself? What if someone just did something to make you smile? What if someone just cared enough about your feelings? What if answer to all your frustrations was just a hug away? What if someone was with you – just unconditionally?
Aren’t these magical things more powerful than those external stories from the outside world?
I was left with a messy mind, with questions travelling in all directions. Still.
And then my ears heard an innocent voice – Mumma, I am hungry! 🙂 🙂
May be god has his own way of reminding you of what you should care about, what is important and what makes your life beautiful!!
Since last couple of days, I have come across a lot of articles on mothers – working and non-working ones.
The working mothers most of the times feel the pressure of managing family and work – they carry a bit of guilt of not spending enough time with their kids and how they sometimes miss the most important moments when their kids are growing.
On the other hand, there are feelings expressed by the non-working ones that reflect how they choose motherhood over career, how they left their well-paying settled jobs just to be with their kids and cherish each and every moment.
And then I sit and wonder – where do I fit in?
As the mother’s day approach near, I would like to tell something to you my son – through this letter.
I want to tell you, that I am a working woman and I work because I have the passion to work – more than the need. I enjoy the status of “getting noticed” in the crowd. I dream of being a respectable and recognised professional. I work to fulfil my ambitions.
Then you may have a question for me – that – mom, are your dreams and ambitions more important than me?
No, my son, absolutely not. You are the most precious gift I have got in my life. There is nothing more important than you – not even my own self.
I stepped back from my dreams when you came in my life, and I will always do the same whenever you will need my complete attention – without any second thought.
But by me working, there are a lot of lessons I can teach you – that may not be as effective otherwise.
Do remember my son, I don’t want to teach you feminism, I want to cultivate that in you by giving you those experiences. I want you to know that like your dad, your mom shares equal responsibilities and enjoy equal authority at home.
I want you to remember that as I have you in my life, I have my parents too, who have struggled enough to ensure I succeed in life. Would it be a nice thing to be dependent on my spouse to take care of them? Or should I leave them with whatever available resources they have – even though I have the capabilities to give them a better life?
Yes I do miss some moments where I wish I didn’t have this hat of a working women. But then, don’t I have hats of all other relations that I maintain within the family? Aren’t there times when I was away from you for a family emergency in your grandparent’s home. So my son, don’t relate my working with me being away from you. We just have a lot of things to manage at the same time.
You may say that, mom, you only taught me that money can’t buy happiness. My son, don’t ever under estimate working with earning. Earning is one benefit why people work, but then there are many more such things above money – satisfaction, self-respect, confidence – a complete package.
Money is the mean to lead a life as per your wish. Money is not life.
Whether working or not working, your smile is the most affectionate thing I crave for. Your upbringing is the most important responsibility of my life.
I take pride in ensuring that I capable of being your support system – in whichever form you need. I am a happy person and I want you to be the same – without guilts, without sacrifices, without any burden on the heart.
I just have a silent wish – that when you grow up as a mature adult – you come to me and say – Mumma, I am proud of you!
I kept noticing her in every now and then. Sometimes I felt she was just like me, other times she seemed a complete stranger.
She keeps running pillar to post – every minute of the day. I was striving to understand what is she trying to do with her life? What keeps her busy around the clock? My curiosity to know her more increased every time I saw her.
And finally today I got the chance to talk to her.
Smiling face, cheerful eyes, energetic body and a composed mind – impressive personality, I thought!
I took a step forward to start our conversation. “hello” I said with a little hesitation. “hey hi” was the answer – from her. From the other person – surprisingly, she resided within me. The person who had been occupying my body, heart and soul – unknowingly – my own self.
So here I was – standing in front of my own outer self.
I see you doing 1000 different activities. Home, office, gym, friends, family, functions, temple, parties. What keeps you going? How do you manage all this? – I asked, still with a little element of surprise in me.
She smiled back – it’s you who keeps me going darling! – an assertive voice replied.
Me?? What?? How?? Storm of questions rose inside. What are you talking about? I always felt I should be like you?
I am always in my own world, day dreaming, hoping for miracles to happen. I like to be quiet, to sit alone, keep thinking for anything and everything forever. How can I be a reason for such an inspiring life of you! People admire you, I am not even noticed.
She understood my sea of thoughts. Listen – she said. Whatever I do are my responsibilities. Not that I don’t enjoy them, but the reason I do them has a partial influence of others.
What I do along with you is my true happiness. Without boundaries, without thinking about anyone else but me. That feels like my own space of being just me – My space that rejuvenates me, cuddles me with love and care, motivate me to chase my dreams, makes me feel important!
Think about it, how our conversations with others are shrinking these days. Conversations meant opening-up for your heart to your beloved before, sharing how you “feel” – being together, doing things together, fighting for something, being crazy, being upset – every emotion that you felt.
It’s very different now. There are mere talks now. “How” has transformed to “what”. What did you do today? What is it for dinner? What’s your plan for weekend? World of “updates”
Isn’t that the reason, people feel lonely, demotivated, uncared, unloved?
Everyone wants this emotional balance in life, they want to experience depth of emotions – no one knows how to achieve it? Is it because of the time, or the incapability to express, or the ego of why me first, or the priority to materialistic happiness? No one cares.
Everyone settles for a day-to-day operational life and keep boosting themselves, or rather lieing to themselves about the perfect world they have carved for themselves.
In all this, my dear, if I have you to share my heart – M I not blessed? 🙂 The warmth in her voice touched my heart.
I had no words in my mouth, no questions in my head – just teary eyes. I didn’t know how to react.
I just walked away – with a gratitude for my “inner self” Thank you, I said to myself. For taking care of the “real” me.
So, you are a daughter, and a sister and a wife and a MOTHER and a friend and a professional and a home maker and the list continues!! 🙂
Out of all the roles I play in my life, being a mother is something I enjoy the most. Motherhood is the greatest blessing woman has. It’s an embracing experience, a bundle of responsibilities, authority, joy, innocence and of course a continuous learning!
Yes, my 2.5 years old son is the greatest teacher I have. Life has been so very positive since his arrival. The priorities have changed, the approach towards my own self has transformed – a refreshing feel! 🙂
So what is this learning I am talking about:
Isn’t it the best learning ever? Whenever I see my son, he teaches me to be fearless – because only the present moment is in our control – neither the past and nor the future is. We have to live this moment to the fullest. And that’s what will make our life worth enjoying! 🙂 🙂
A great way of dealing with things! I have been trying something, then leaving it blaming its difficult and then trying it again – on a random basis. The reason of my failure was lack of consistency. Let it be healthy eating or meditation or gyming – I failed countless times. But seeing my baby try all the various things so consistently makes me feel to ape him! 😛 I am sure the one reason for my success now is going to be his teaching!
Well, we are humans and we get bored doing same things again and again. Think about it. Is it so difficult to just tweak a few things here and there – unplanned sometimes – and just be creative!! We are not machines to be monotonous isn’t it 😛
I am sure you have your own learnings (and challenges 😉 ) that you counter every day as a parent. Do share, I am eager to know if I am missing some fun! 😛
Yet another year is passing. the WORLD WIDE people on – WEB are talking about new year resolutions, parties, memories, excitements – all cheerful, vibrant – all just perfect!!
And what am I doing? Writing this blog and at the same time thinking of the “cake to bake” in the evening. 😀
As I browse through my Facebook page, I see something called “Posts of 2015”. I click that and glimpse of my year long memories get
showcased one by one.
I won’t wonder if one day man creates something exactly like part of our brain that store memories 😛 After all, brain also has the rights to OUTSOURCE work 😀 😀
And then I take a recap on this year – 2015 and the Apocalypse
This year has been more of “maintaining” things than achieving more and more. And this has been a year of experiences that made me mature, made me strong emotionally – made me self-aware.
And friends, this is what I really learnt and practiced along this year:
This year gave me a lot of situations where I got confused, got bizarre with options – all equally important. And I had to scratch my head for nights to understand what to choose?
But you know what, confusions are good!! Because they let you analyse your priorities yet again. They create a bonding between you and your loved ones when you share the confusions. Your loved ones feel that their options matter to you! Confusions bring a momentum in your life – something different than your routine work – and of course they motivate you with a feeling of achievement when you really reach a final option for yourself!
Aren’t these benefits worth cherishing being confused???
Most of the time, we feel low when our expectations are not met, when our wishes are not fulfilled. But then look within. Why to feel dependent on someone else for your own happiness. Don’t you have any example of making someone else happy? And if its a yes, which I am sure it is, why not make just yourself happy!!
Think about it. You are the one who knows you in and out, your strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, your dreams, your compromises – a complete YOU. And so, isn’t it necessary valuing your own being?
YOU are the most important person for you.. Try this!!
Many talk about work life balance these days. Psychologists, corporate, your own family members!! But think for a moment? Why call it work-life balance and not LIFE-WORK balance? Isn’t work part of your life? Isn’t your life first??
And more than balancing life and work, isn’t it important to balance your responsibilities in them. Do you really have to feel guilty for that work-off you took when your son wasn’t well, or for those long hours you spend in office for an important delivery.
Every aspect of our life is important and unique in its own way. And hence, balance is important. Our situations decide how to act, and if we have this mental balance in life – life is all good!! Isnt it?
Well, I am sure you too would have a lot of learnings running in your mind as you recap your year long journey.
Let’s open our arms towards the sunset of this last day of 2015 and give a thankful adieu to 2015!
Wish you all a very happy and cheerful 2016!
In my own world of thoughts..
And there you came one day,
Tickling my heart, with a silent say
May be just to complete that one thing
Which I always missed, somewhere deep within
I crafted my own innocent cloud
I heard my inner self clear and loud
Without boundaries to imagine
I sailed my way, yes I did shine
As I kept experiencing you each day
I learnt, I saw, I did have a small play
And then did I realise, its yet another illusion
Should I be silent, or sort out the confusion?
It’s just a perfect world, all around me
Then what makes me miss, something that I can’t see
Something like the waves and sea shore
They thrive to meet, they want just a bit more!
I myself then carved a smile around
Does it have something to Bound?
Is it just a wait and watch game
Or I will someday, get my share of fame!
In my own world of thoughts..
I wish I will have that Day
Where I am the Queen – just everyday..