A letter from a working mother to her son

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mother-and-son-5Since last couple of days, I have come across a lot of articles on mothers – working and non-working ones.

The working mothers most of the times feel the pressure of managing family and work – they carry a bit of guilt of not spending enough time with their kids and how they sometimes miss the most important moments when their kids are growing.

On the other hand, there are feelings expressed by the non-working ones that reflect how they choose motherhood over career, how they left their well-paying settled jobs just to be with their kids and cherish each and every moment.

And then I sit and wonder – where do I fit in?

As the mother’s day approach near, I would like to tell something to you my son – through this letter.

I want to tell you, that I am a working woman and I work because I have the passion to work – more than the need. I enjoy the status of “getting noticed” in the crowd. I dream of being a respectable and recognised professional. I work to fulfil my ambitions.

Then you may have a question for me – that – mom, are your dreams and ambitions more important than me?

No, my son, absolutely not. You are the most precious gift I have got in my life. There is nothing more important than you – not even my own self.

I stepped back from my dreams when you came in my life, and I will always do the same whenever you will need my complete attention – without any second thought.

But by me working, there are a lot of lessons I can teach you – that may not be as effective otherwise.

Do remember my son, I don’t want to teach you feminism, I want to cultivate that in you by giving you those experiences. I want you to know that like your dad, your mom shares equal responsibilities and enjoy equal authority at home.

I want you to remember that as I have you in my life, I have my parents too, who have struggled enough to ensure I succeed in life. Would it be a nice thing to be dependent on my spouse to take care of them? Or should I leave them with whatever available resources they have – even though I have the capabilities to give them a better life?

Yes I do miss some moments where I wish I didn’t have this hat of a working women. But then, don’t I have hats of all other relations that I maintain within the family? Aren’t there times when I was away from you for a family emergency in your grandparent’s home. So my son, don’t relate my working with me being away from you. We just have a lot of things to manage at the same time.

You may say that, mom, you only taught me that money can’t buy happiness. My son, don’t ever under estimate working with earning. Earning is one benefit why people work, but then there are many more such things above money – satisfaction, self-respect, confidence – a complete package.

Money is the mean to lead a life as per your wish.  Money is not life.

Whether working or not working, your smile is the most affectionate thing I crave for. Your upbringing is the most important responsibility of my life.

I take pride in ensuring that I capable of being your support system – in whichever form you need. I am a happy person and I want you to be the same – without guilts, without sacrifices, without any burden on the heart.

I just have a silent wish – that when you grow up as a mature adult – you come to me and say – Mumma, I am proud of you!

 

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It’s your story.. dear woman!

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womanbAlarm rings.. 5am.. With drowsy eyes and a strong undesire to get up, I try locating my mobile – just to swipe the snooze button and get that “10 mins more” sweet sleep..

10 mins gone…. alarm rings again.. Why can’t gadgets too feel lazy sometimes? 😐

Finally I make my mind to get up.. Do I have an option?

Slow pace and rubbing eyes, I am out of the bed.. Yet another long day ahead..

And then it strikes me – ohh its special day today.. it’s Women’s Day.. it’s a day to celebrate the pride of being a woman.. to cherish the achievements.. to feel like a queen!! 🙂 🙂

As I start my home chores, I think.. how is women’s day gonna be different at home? I still have to go for walk, make my own coffee, cook, get my handsome little one ready, drop him to school.. aemm.. countless big and small to dos.. So am I really proud of being a women with an endless dance on the toes?

Yes, I am proud – A strong voice shouts from within. Look at the way I multi-task the whole day. I manage my home, my work, my son’s home-work ;), my husband’s taste buds, my parents, my friends, my maid (most importantly), my hobbies, my aspirations!

My world – just a perfect one! 🙂

And then I become a role-model.

TO my son, unknowingly I am teaching him that woman deserve equality, they are not meant “for-home chores only”. I am teaching him to be independent, I am letting him grow more like an individual – obvious reason – I am not around him all the time. I am working!!

TO my husband, I am assuring him that I am there – to share responsibilities – he is not a one man army! I am there to contribute in every little thing we do for our home, an ear for his office troubles – as I have them too! a strong back-up, when he wants to fly for his professional aspirations – he doesn’t need to be holding his discomforts for the sake of home responsibilities.

Wow – what a proud feeling – a working woman, yes I AM!! B-)

9am, I drive Avneesh to school, and keeping my cool, drive through the traffic jams and honking to reach office. I do a bit of make-up before settling on my seat 😛

and then there are e-mails flooded with wishes – happy womens day – from bankers to marketers to shopping sites – all are in full swing to please women!!

HR team makes sure we feel on top of the world today! Flowers, special gifts, games, motivations speeches – I love every moment of this enjoyment! Yes – I tell myself – such a blessing being a working women – happy, independent – full of self-esteem! 🙂

As the day passes and the clock strikes 1, all head for the “special lunch for beautiful ladies”. My heart runs home to see if Avneesh had food? Did he like it or left it halfway? Did he take his morning fruit?

I assure myself that all is going to be well and I don’t need to stress. Wasn’t I convinced with the thought of making him independent??

Day passes by. My mind keeps wandering around home. Did Avneesh do any new thing today that I missed to see? Did he speak a new word?? He must be missing mumma for a garden play, poor chap! 😦

Evening arrives as I start wrapping-up my work. What a pleasant weather it is – perfect for family time with coffee and chitchats! I smile with this thought.. I am sure my husband too would have been missing this! A day-dreamer in me visuals us together!

And then comes an e-mail – urgent action needed. Errr.. Does that mean I am going to be late? Is it yet another miss to a great family evening?? Hmm..

I know my people will understand.. They won’t complaint at all.. They know it’s a need to support family.. Still.. what is this feeling of incompleteness? Would it have been better to let go career, stay at home and enjoy every moment with family?? 😦

SO I finish the urgent tasks and get back home.. It’s too late for a refreshing coffee in the “tiny-fortune paid” home with amazing view from balcony.

Let’s cook-eat-sleep. Simple plan now. 😐

And the day gets over.

This is not just my story – but story of all the women in this world – working or not working doesn’t matter. It’s the story of tremendous patience and balance in a woman’s mind.

It’s about the power a woman has to handle these extremely opposite emotions of pride and guilt every single day!

I am proud of this power, I am proud of this balanced mind. I am proud of being a woman – god’s complete package deal!

Happy women’s day!

 

Dreams – the lighter side of it!

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dreamDREAM – What comes first in your mind when you hear this word? Does your mind picturise your ambition, things you want to own, that house you want to buy or that promotion you keep thinking about?

Well, let me clarify. This post is nothing related to all that is mentioned above.

Ah! Then what is it all about??

This is all about the stories you see when you are deep asleep!!  The literal “DREAM” 😛 The comedy, the horror, the emotional and the thriller that your mind creates when your body is resting after a hectic day.

Have you ever wondered how these dreams are formed? Which part of your brain directs the movies and who all act in it?

My grandama used to say- what we think is what comes in the dream. True sometimes, however what about the dreams with ghosts taking you away in a dark land or the weird animals that attack you? Who thinks of all this, tell me?

I don’t know what connection I have with my dreams that amaze me every night. I get to see my school friends, relatives, some stories of the past, some unknown faces and what not. Bizzare! 😉

The funniest part is that even if I get engrossed in them, I forget them the moment I am out of bed. Very rarely I remember the full dream I saw.

Should I say my imaginary power is superb or maybe I have the talent to be in film industry 😀

I can have a normal 2-wheeler mechanic repair a naval ship, make Santa Clause come on a motor bike,  bring my friends and family under 1 home for no reason, lead army in a war situation and what not.  So funny, isn’t it? 😀 😀

Well, there are nicer ones too – some like me roaming in a country on mars full of snow are the ones that I really enjoyed 😉

I always wonder – don’t we sleep to give rest to the mind? Then why the mind has to do “overtime” in forming these funny stories and keep us awake unconsciously? Power of mind! 😉

Can you help me answer? Waiting…

Happy dreaming! 🙂 🙂

 

 

 

The Rise of Phoenix

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Since my school days I had always wondered if the Greek mythological bird Phoenix ever had any truth in it. How can a bird take rebirth from its own ashes?

As I grew older, I understood the deeper meaning of this concept. Phoenix symbolizes renewal, transformation from your old self to a new one, a change for good, a new life with new aspirations and fresh mind. Its an inspiration to metamorphose your self.

Last 2 weeks were a bit crazy for me. A 9-day long break from office and “no agenda” at home made my mind almost a vacuum. First 2 days were so relaxed, just sleeping eating, watching TV, and doing NOTHING at all that’s productive. A complete rejuvenation! 😛

Then came a time when my mind started peeping inside in search of something I always wanted to do, wanted to become,  and wasn’t really taking an effort for it.

It’s said that empty mind is devil’s workshop however for me it turned out to be a “google search within” 🙂

I started making list of things I would want to do in my life – small and big – from being punctual at office to start meditating to controlling my food habits (which is the biggest and most challenging one is the list I think) 😛 I figured that personally and professionally I need to make myself better in certain aspects whether its decision making, keeping patience at times or just letting go things that create a turbulence.

I also realized that I am very good at beginning new things but most of times loose my grip in continuing them after a while. Hence most of the things I had started were unfinished, left incomplete. Sigh!

I didn’t want this to repeat and hence for the next 2-3 days I only looked at the list to make sure my mind is all prepared to start and continue with what all I want.

This week, I tested myself on it and to my surprise, I was able to achieve my desires seamlessly. I didn’t miss any of the things put on paper. I am calmer than before, feeling light, laughing aloud, streamlining thoughts, making way out from my own confusions, taking decisions rationally.

Overall, feels like a rebirth from the older version to be a better, happier and a satisfied me. A colourful life ahead of me!

Isn’t it  rise of phoenix within? 🙂

The Art of Forgiving..

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How many times have you felt heavy at heart for carrying hatred, anger, disappointment?? I am sure the obvious answer for most of us is “numerous times”. We are humans and we do have all kinds of feelings in our heart. Though we cherish happy times, the sorrowful feelings stay longer in us.

As we walk through our life, it’s inevitable that we come across people that are good and bad, we encounter experiences that are happy and sad. Many a times, we are the ones, not others who take wrong decisions, incorrect choices and get into depression.
What do we do with these heavy feelings then? Do we carry them along making our life melancholy? Do we keep thinking about them and feel tragic all the time? If yes, is that right?

There is these thoughts that are tickling my mind recently – Why to carry the awful memories, the feelings that make us feel worse. Instead can we just forget and move? Is it our hands to make ourselves light and free from bitterness? What do we achieve by not forgiving?

Well, I know it is not easy to forget some hurts, some heartbreaks – but is it worth a try?

I have stepped on this path to learn the “The Art of Forgiving”. First, to forgive myself for all the regrets I have and then to others!

Are you with me in this journey?

Is there anyone you need to forgive today?

The 2 Voices Inside..

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It was a Saturday evening. I was driving towards the hospital to collect my medical reports. On a usual day, it is just a 20 mins drive. However that day I felt it like 20 hours long journey. Numerous thoughts kept peeping my mind about my report, and I must admit that majority of them were negative.

I was all on my own struggling with those thoughts and wondering what is going to happen to me next. I sensed 2 voices inside me debating with each other – one was voice of fear and the other was voice of faith.

For some reason, the voice of fear was taking stronger on me. It made me think of all the worst situations that will come my way if my report is bad. It made me visualise scenarios that scared me to my depth.

Then there was a silent and calm voice of faith, not at all showing its dominance; just trying to explain me that things will be fine and I should not be worrying so much; telling me not to be scared as even if there is any problem, there is a solution as well.

Again as I said, the voice of fear was so powerful that I wasn’t even listening to my voice of faith. I was so much taken away by the voice was fear that I had already decided in my mind my report is going to be worse for me to handle.

To my surprise – a pleasant one, reality was something very different. 🙂

When I reached hospital, it took me so many guts to open the reports. It was all normal. Thankfully, there was really nothing for me to worry.

That was the time my thinking cap started turning right and made me realise that I have spent so much time worrying about things that were not even certain. They were just probabilities and I gave them so much importance.

On the other side, my voice of faith was true and was guiding me right but I ignored it completely.

Then was the STRONG question to myself – WHY did I do so?

I reflected back in my past and observed that there were many such occasions when I feared so much which wasn’t needed– in my school days when my exam result were going to be out, in my higher education when I feared of not getting a good job that I would want to do, in my job when I wasn’t sure of delivering my KRAs. Memories of such incidents shook me from inside.

There is so much of fear around us. Fear of losing our loved ones, fear of failure, fear of defeat, fear of struggle. Again the same question – why do we fear so much?

I am not talking about being afraid of the dark, or being afraid of heights. Phobias aside, there are things that we absolutely dread the thought of. Fear has a stronger grip on our life than we think.

Voice of faith is a deep knowing that something is true although there may not be physical evidence or a way to prove it to others. It encourages us to move forward and not slow down with the influence of fear. It gives us confidence of a happy life. 🙂

Then, why do we not listen to that soft voice of faith that will give us peace of mind? Does it not always reassure us of a solution to every problem? Does is not show us way out of our trauma? Why do we ignore it then?

Even I couldn’t find an answer to this “why” yet. However I did realise that I should be listening to this inner voice of faith to get rid of the negativities in my mind.

I do need to give my best in any and every situation and leave it to faith for good things to happen to me.

I know it’s not going to be easy. It needs a lot of hard work and practise of mind.

However as is it said – well begun is half done. 🙂

Horizon – where aspirations meet reality!

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“The horizon leans forward, offering you space to place new steps of change” ~ Maya Angelou

In our life we have aspirations and we have reality. Aspirations – high as the sky –are full of energy, full of positivity, full of hope. On contrary, there is reality with a “take what comes your way attitude” – very calculative, very controlled, very rigid.

.. And this chase of making our aspirations meet reality is called LIFE – OUR HORIZON! 🙂

Now you might think of many other metaphors used for life and might wonder why I chose it to be called Horizon. Well, there is a reason – something I can relate to my own life!

The horizon keeps moving ahead the nearer we go, and so does the reality. There is never an end to both; there is never a final destination to both! 🙂

My life has been a journey reaching this horizon and every time I thought I was just there, it moved far again – every time leaving something behind – good and bad – adding milestones to life!

This month, 8 years ago – I started my professional life. Long way! It feels great and satisfied that I could make my life something that I aspired!

It started with an aspiration to gift a home to my parents and thanks to my luck that supported it well to turn it a reality. It was tough, challenging and needed a lot of hard work. However, as it’s said – “where there is a will, there is a way”!

It felt like touching the sky when this aspiration became a part of my real life! The moment of handing keys to my parents and the love and pride in their shining eyes is still the most special moment of my life – the first horizon of my life! 🙂

Well, as I said, there is no end to this. Aspirations – small and big kept me moving.  Kept me busy converting them to reality. One after the other, the journey towards horizon continued..

New people, new companies, new designations, new geographies, new trips, new salary figures;) – all a part of this journey!

Today, I am satisfied of what I am doing, what I have done so far. Still I see that horizon that I want to reach – to become a person who inspires others, who is looked up with respect, who is known for good things, who is taken as an example.

I am travelling towards it – with a dream to make it a reality!