Me and Her!

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positive-self-talkI kept noticing her in every now and then. Sometimes I felt she was just like me, other times she seemed a complete stranger.

She keeps running pillar to post – every minute of the day. I was striving to understand what is she trying to do with her life? What keeps her busy around the clock? My curiosity to know her more increased every time I saw her.

And finally today I got the chance to talk to her.

Smiling face, cheerful eyes, energetic body and a composed mind – impressive personality, I thought!

I took a step forward to start our conversation. “hello” I said with a little hesitation. “hey hi” was the answer – from her. From the other person – surprisingly, she resided within me. The person who had been occupying my body, heart and soul – unknowingly – my own self.

So here I was – standing in front of my own outer self.

I see you doing 1000 different activities. Home, office, gym, friends, family, functions, temple, parties. What keeps you going? How do you manage all this? – I asked, still with a little element of surprise in me.

She smiled back – it’s you who keeps me going darling! – an assertive voice replied.

Me?? What?? How?? Storm of questions rose inside. What are you talking about? I always felt I should be like you?

I am always in my own world, day dreaming, hoping for miracles to happen. I like to be quiet, to sit alone, keep thinking for anything and everything forever. How can I be a reason for such an inspiring life of you! People admire you, I am not even noticed.

She understood my sea of thoughts. Listen – she said. Whatever I do are my responsibilities. Not that I don’t enjoy them, but the reason I do them has a partial influence of others.

What I do along with you is my true happiness. Without boundaries, without thinking about anyone else but me. That feels like my own space of being just me – My space that rejuvenates me, cuddles me with love and care, motivate me to chase my dreams, makes me feel important!

Think about it, how our conversations with others are shrinking these days. Conversations meant opening-up for your heart to your beloved before, sharing how you “feel” – being together, doing things together, fighting for something, being crazy, being upset – every emotion that you felt.

It’s very different now. There are mere talks now. “How” has transformed to “what”. What did you do today? What is it for dinner? What’s your plan for weekend? World of “updates”

Isn’t that the reason, people feel lonely, demotivated, uncared, unloved?

Everyone wants this emotional balance in life, they want to experience depth of emotions – no one knows how to achieve it? Is it because of the time, or the incapability to express, or the ego of why me first, or the priority to materialistic happiness? No one cares.

Everyone settles for a day-to-day operational life and keep boosting themselves, or rather lieing to themselves about the perfect world they have carved for themselves.

In all this, my dear, if I have you to share my heart – M I not blessed? 🙂 The warmth in her voice touched my heart.

I had no words in my mouth, no questions in my head – just teary eyes. I didn’t know how to react.

I just walked away – with a gratitude for my “inner self” Thank you, I said to myself. For taking care of the “real” me.

 

 

 

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It’s your story.. dear woman!

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womanbAlarm rings.. 5am.. With drowsy eyes and a strong undesire to get up, I try locating my mobile – just to swipe the snooze button and get that “10 mins more” sweet sleep..

10 mins gone…. alarm rings again.. Why can’t gadgets too feel lazy sometimes? 😐

Finally I make my mind to get up.. Do I have an option?

Slow pace and rubbing eyes, I am out of the bed.. Yet another long day ahead..

And then it strikes me – ohh its special day today.. it’s Women’s Day.. it’s a day to celebrate the pride of being a woman.. to cherish the achievements.. to feel like a queen!! 🙂 🙂

As I start my home chores, I think.. how is women’s day gonna be different at home? I still have to go for walk, make my own coffee, cook, get my handsome little one ready, drop him to school.. aemm.. countless big and small to dos.. So am I really proud of being a women with an endless dance on the toes?

Yes, I am proud – A strong voice shouts from within. Look at the way I multi-task the whole day. I manage my home, my work, my son’s home-work ;), my husband’s taste buds, my parents, my friends, my maid (most importantly), my hobbies, my aspirations!

My world – just a perfect one! 🙂

And then I become a role-model.

TO my son, unknowingly I am teaching him that woman deserve equality, they are not meant “for-home chores only”. I am teaching him to be independent, I am letting him grow more like an individual – obvious reason – I am not around him all the time. I am working!!

TO my husband, I am assuring him that I am there – to share responsibilities – he is not a one man army! I am there to contribute in every little thing we do for our home, an ear for his office troubles – as I have them too! a strong back-up, when he wants to fly for his professional aspirations – he doesn’t need to be holding his discomforts for the sake of home responsibilities.

Wow – what a proud feeling – a working woman, yes I AM!! B-)

9am, I drive Avneesh to school, and keeping my cool, drive through the traffic jams and honking to reach office. I do a bit of make-up before settling on my seat 😛

and then there are e-mails flooded with wishes – happy womens day – from bankers to marketers to shopping sites – all are in full swing to please women!!

HR team makes sure we feel on top of the world today! Flowers, special gifts, games, motivations speeches – I love every moment of this enjoyment! Yes – I tell myself – such a blessing being a working women – happy, independent – full of self-esteem! 🙂

As the day passes and the clock strikes 1, all head for the “special lunch for beautiful ladies”. My heart runs home to see if Avneesh had food? Did he like it or left it halfway? Did he take his morning fruit?

I assure myself that all is going to be well and I don’t need to stress. Wasn’t I convinced with the thought of making him independent??

Day passes by. My mind keeps wandering around home. Did Avneesh do any new thing today that I missed to see? Did he speak a new word?? He must be missing mumma for a garden play, poor chap! 😦

Evening arrives as I start wrapping-up my work. What a pleasant weather it is – perfect for family time with coffee and chitchats! I smile with this thought.. I am sure my husband too would have been missing this! A day-dreamer in me visuals us together!

And then comes an e-mail – urgent action needed. Errr.. Does that mean I am going to be late? Is it yet another miss to a great family evening?? Hmm..

I know my people will understand.. They won’t complaint at all.. They know it’s a need to support family.. Still.. what is this feeling of incompleteness? Would it have been better to let go career, stay at home and enjoy every moment with family?? 😦

SO I finish the urgent tasks and get back home.. It’s too late for a refreshing coffee in the “tiny-fortune paid” home with amazing view from balcony.

Let’s cook-eat-sleep. Simple plan now. 😐

And the day gets over.

This is not just my story – but story of all the women in this world – working or not working doesn’t matter. It’s the story of tremendous patience and balance in a woman’s mind.

It’s about the power a woman has to handle these extremely opposite emotions of pride and guilt every single day!

I am proud of this power, I am proud of this balanced mind. I am proud of being a woman – god’s complete package deal!

Happy women’s day!

 

To all the working moms!!

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To all the working moms, who are dancing on the toes juggling between home to office to baby sitting to cooking – you will see “YOU” in them.. and SMILE! Just like me!

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Wordless!

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EmotionsLabeledConversations.. The talks, the discussions, the arguments, the gossips! 🙂

Most of our time goes in conversing with people. Formal, informal,  in office or home, our mouth gets more energy by talking than by eating! Do you second me here? 😉

And now with the new media of “silent communication” over Facebook, Whatsapp or any other messenger for that matter, it become more easy to exchange thoughts – INSTANTLY! 🙂

Many in the business of life coaching claim that healthy conversations with you partner or family members, friends or colleagues make healthy relationships for you! True, really works.

However would you agree with me if I say that sometimes words are not enough to explain what we feel? Have you ever given a thought to this – most of our emotional moments are WORDLESS!

Well, now I am sure you are thinking what I mean by wordless?. And I do not plan to confuse you more with this sentence. Let me explain.

Do you recall a moment of success when just a “hi-fi” to your friend meant – “yes we did it!”

Isn’t a tight hug enough to convey “thank you” for a surprise gift from your partner?

Just a tap on the back to your best buddy when his eyes are teary speaks more than what words can express!

Shy face of your girlfriend when you propose her is something you are gonna remember lifelong!

Can you explain in words why your lips made that big curve looking at your baby’s first steps?

There are endless examples like these.

We are humans and we are emotional. We emote in number of ways!

The best of your emotional moments are still WORDLESS! 🙂

Probably that’s the reason that even when we have liberty to type without limitations on words, ‘smileys’ are the ones that make our chats complete!

What do you think guys?

 

 

♥ Will you be my Valentine?? ♥

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love-is-you-love-30949107-960-8541With you, I speak day and night
You know my thoughts, my insight
I can’t call you shadow, you are within
The best partner, you have always been
You don’t keep secrets, but you hold mine
Today, I ask you – Will you be my Valentine?

Like the sun, you brighten my world
Without you, every moment is curled
I rise with you fresh, as morning to noon
Should I call you miracle, or god’s boon?
You are my spirit, you are divine
Today, I ask you – Will you be my Valentine?

You are my star that never leaves the sky
Even when the clouds are low or high
This sky changes colours from dark to blue
You know me; I am an open book just for you
You hold me tight, make me shine
Today, I ask you – Will you be my Valentine?

Like the candle without a flame
Like the person without a name
I have no existence without you my dear
The best of buddies, you bring me cheer
Oh my soul! My heartbeat, my lifeline
Today, I ask you – Will you be my Valentine?

Holding your hand….

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handsIn search of love, I always wandered
Is that a collage of 2 beautiful hearts
Or a journey, together and apart
Is that a mix of surprises and sorrow
Or just a pair of bow and arrow
And then came you, oasis in the sand
Love is togetherness, holding your hand….

In search of happiness, I always wandered
Is it an emotion that makes me fly
Or a spirit that takes off the sigh
Is it the smile after the tears
Or just a word people call “cheers”
And then came you, greenery in barren land
Happiness is fulfillment, holding your hand….

In search of life, I always wandered
Is it a book that slowly unfolds
Or just a hope that you always hold
Is it a basket of pleasure and pain
Or a story that’s completely insane
And then came you, like a musical band
Life is experiences, holding your hand….

Mom’s lap.. ♥

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Mom 1My mom – the first one to know me when I was not even born. The one who cared me before me seeing this world, the one who understood me before even me understanding myself. The first and the most special relation I made in my life.

That’s what god says – “just because I can’t be present everywhere, I have given you a mom” 🙂

When I was born, my mom would have felt that I completed her world. I am sure she spent all these years dreaming about my future, praying for my well-being, protecting me from all the evils of the world.

In my childhood, she molded me to be a good human-being, gave me values of life that define what I am today, became a teacher (rather the most strict teacher :P) so I get the importance of education, played with me as a friend, taught me value of social life and the various relations that we hold. She sacrificed her own dreams for me and would have seen them come true through me.

Like a potter, she molded the pot of my life ♥

As I grew to the most rebellion age of teen, friends became priority. Mom became a character who imposes restrictions all the time. Listening to friends and being with them all the time was like a prestige of life, ignoring what mom had to say about it. Mom was like a old-fashioned person in life.  Though I loved her so much that time as well, I never bothered to tell her the same. She was more of a person whom I can take for granted anytime and everytime.

Mom silently absorbed all that and still kept caring the same way as she was.

Then came the age of early twenties. Mind and heart were full of dreams of bright future, college, career. Enjoyment of life was at the fullest.  New friends, new jobs, new environments kept coming and going and I got too involved in these attractions. Mom was at home, for me, just to be informed where I am. That’s it. Yeah, sometimes to order her to cook my favorite dishes.

Mom still adapted to whatever I did.

When I told her that I want to marry the person I love, of course her dreams of my marriage would have got scattered. However, just for my happiness, she agreed and made sure the biggest event of my life was made the most memorable one.

Even today, when I am busy managing work and home, she keeps calling me everyday to know my well-being. Sometimes I speak with her sometimes, sometimes disconnect her calls when I am in meetings, sometimes forget to call her back due to work, but she has not given up her consistency.

That’s what my mom is!!

Today, when I am taking this journey to be a mom soon, I realize what all my mom has done for me and what all I have given her in return.

Of course I never forgot my responsibilities towards her health, towards giving her those small surprises on her birthday and all, but when I look at what she has done for me, they all look too small to be done for her.

I feel lucky to have her in my life and feel sorry that I couldn’t do much for her that she really deserved.

I feel like silently putting my head in her lap and ask her forgiveness. I am sure whatever stage of life I am, my mom’s lap is the most secure place for me in this whole world where I will get unconditional love without any second thought.

Love you mom!