Me and Her!

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positive-self-talkI kept noticing her in every now and then. Sometimes I felt she was just like me, other times she seemed a complete stranger.

She keeps running pillar to post – every minute of the day. I was striving to understand what is she trying to do with her life? What keeps her busy around the clock? My curiosity to know her more increased every time I saw her.

And finally today I got the chance to talk to her.

Smiling face, cheerful eyes, energetic body and a composed mind – impressive personality, I thought!

I took a step forward to start our conversation. “hello” I said with a little hesitation. “hey hi” was the answer – from her. From the other person – surprisingly, she resided within me. The person who had been occupying my body, heart and soul – unknowingly – my own self.

So here I was – standing in front of my own outer self.

I see you doing 1000 different activities. Home, office, gym, friends, family, functions, temple, parties. What keeps you going? How do you manage all this? – I asked, still with a little element of surprise in me.

She smiled back – it’s you who keeps me going darling! – an assertive voice replied.

Me?? What?? How?? Storm of questions rose inside. What are you talking about? I always felt I should be like you?

I am always in my own world, day dreaming, hoping for miracles to happen. I like to be quiet, to sit alone, keep thinking for anything and everything forever. How can I be a reason for such an inspiring life of you! People admire you, I am not even noticed.

She understood my sea of thoughts. Listen – she said. Whatever I do are my responsibilities. Not that I don’t enjoy them, but the reason I do them has a partial influence of others.

What I do along with you is my true happiness. Without boundaries, without thinking about anyone else but me. That feels like my own space of being just me – My space that rejuvenates me, cuddles me with love and care, motivate me to chase my dreams, makes me feel important!

Think about it, how our conversations with others are shrinking these days. Conversations meant opening-up for your heart to your beloved before, sharing how you “feel” – being together, doing things together, fighting for something, being crazy, being upset – every emotion that you felt.

It’s very different now. There are mere talks now. “How” has transformed to “what”. What did you do today? What is it for dinner? What’s your plan for weekend? World of “updates”

Isn’t that the reason, people feel lonely, demotivated, uncared, unloved?

Everyone wants this emotional balance in life, they want to experience depth of emotions – no one knows how to achieve it? Is it because of the time, or the incapability to express, or the ego of why me first, or the priority to materialistic happiness? No one cares.

Everyone settles for a day-to-day operational life and keep boosting themselves, or rather lieing to themselves about the perfect world they have carved for themselves.

In all this, my dear, if I have you to share my heart – M I not blessed? 🙂 The warmth in her voice touched my heart.

I had no words in my mouth, no questions in my head – just teary eyes. I didn’t know how to react.

I just walked away – with a gratitude for my “inner self” Thank you, I said to myself. For taking care of the “real” me.

 

 

 

F-R-E-E-D-O-M

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Have you ever dreamt of flying high in the sky spreading your wings wide?? Have you wondered how it would feel to indulge in everything you like without being noticed?? Have you imagined a day that you can spend just the way you want without being answerable to anyone?? You, your aspirations, your thoughts, your mood, your likes – just YOU!

Well, I am sure a lot of us would have a “yes” to this. But does it really happen ever? Rare, I would say.

We play many characters in a single life – in family, in friend circle, in society, in office – everywhere. There is always a “role-tag” on us in every moment of our life. And these so many roles come with responsibilities, they tweak us the way the role demands and hence we tend to lose our originality.

Of course there are countless merits of this – we are humans after all and we are meant to be social! 🙂

However in this race of life, it sometimes feel like our freedom is lost somewhere. We adapt so much to situations that we get busy fulfilling duties, being the “ideal” person, speak what people want to hear, think what people expect from us. The list is endless..

Well, this is not a complaint. There is absolutely nothing wrong in this. I am very happy doing all that I do for my circle of people. I love adapting to them.  I love my family, my friends and I can change to any extent for their happiness.

Still, I have got this lacuna of being just “ME”.

Somewhere deep in the heart are these questions wandering. Is “being myself” not a role as important as any other role in my life? Are there no responsibilities towards my own happiness? Are there no wishes that I want to fulfil just for myself?

How would it feel to explore the world outside my nutshell?

Am I really free??

Finding these answers is a journey by itself! 🙂

I am craving here to set free the butterfly inside me!