A letter from a working mother to her son

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mother-and-son-5Since last couple of days, I have come across a lot of articles on mothers – working and non-working ones.

The working mothers most of the times feel the pressure of managing family and work – they carry a bit of guilt of not spending enough time with their kids and how they sometimes miss the most important moments when their kids are growing.

On the other hand, there are feelings expressed by the non-working ones that reflect how they choose motherhood over career, how they left their well-paying settled jobs just to be with their kids and cherish each and every moment.

And then I sit and wonder – where do I fit in?

As the mother’s day approach near, I would like to tell something to you my son – through this letter.

I want to tell you, that I am a working woman and I work because I have the passion to work – more than the need. I enjoy the status of “getting noticed” in the crowd. I dream of being a respectable and recognised professional. I work to fulfil my ambitions.

Then you may have a question for me – that – mom, are your dreams and ambitions more important than me?

No, my son, absolutely not. You are the most precious gift I have got in my life. There is nothing more important than you – not even my own self.

I stepped back from my dreams when you came in my life, and I will always do the same whenever you will need my complete attention – without any second thought.

But by me working, there are a lot of lessons I can teach you – that may not be as effective otherwise.

Do remember my son, I don’t want to teach you feminism, I want to cultivate that in you by giving you those experiences. I want you to know that like your dad, your mom shares equal responsibilities and enjoy equal authority at home.

I want you to remember that as I have you in my life, I have my parents too, who have struggled enough to ensure I succeed in life. Would it be a nice thing to be dependent on my spouse to take care of them? Or should I leave them with whatever available resources they have – even though I have the capabilities to give them a better life?

Yes I do miss some moments where I wish I didn’t have this hat of a working women. But then, don’t I have hats of all other relations that I maintain within the family? Aren’t there times when I was away from you for a family emergency in your grandparent’s home. So my son, don’t relate my working with me being away from you. We just have a lot of things to manage at the same time.

You may say that, mom, you only taught me that money can’t buy happiness. My son, don’t ever under estimate working with earning. Earning is one benefit why people work, but then there are many more such things above money – satisfaction, self-respect, confidence – a complete package.

Money is the mean to lead a life as per your wish.  Money is not life.

Whether working or not working, your smile is the most affectionate thing I crave for. Your upbringing is the most important responsibility of my life.

I take pride in ensuring that I capable of being your support system – in whichever form you need. I am a happy person and I want you to be the same – without guilts, without sacrifices, without any burden on the heart.

I just have a silent wish – that when you grow up as a mature adult – you come to me and say – Mumma, I am proud of you!

 

a mother or a learner?

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happy-quotes-1245So, you are a daughter, and a sister and a wife and a MOTHER and a friend and a professional and a home maker and the list continues!! 🙂

Out of all the roles I play in my life, being a mother is something I enjoy the most. Motherhood is the greatest blessing woman has. It’s an embracing experience, a bundle of responsibilities, authority, joy, innocence and of course a continuous learning!

Yes, my 2.5 years old son is the greatest teacher I have. Life has been so very positive since his arrival. The priorities have changed, the approach towards my own self has transformed – a refreshing feel! 🙂

So what is this learning I am talking about:

  • Being fearless – I am sure you would have yourselves noticed kids in the park playing fearlessly on the rides and the swings. They don’t bother about falling down, they just enjoy the moment.

Isn’t it the best learning ever? Whenever I see my son, he teaches me to be fearless – because only the present moment is in our control – neither the past and nor the future is. We have to live this moment to the fullest. And that’s what will make our life worth enjoying! 🙂 🙂

  • Consistency – Since his birth I have been observing him. He keeps doing the same thing again and again till he actually learns it. Let it be crawling, standing up, sitting or walking.. or even talking. His repeated actions give him perfection in what he does.

A great way of dealing with things! I have been trying something, then leaving it blaming its difficult and then trying it again – on a random basis. The reason of my failure was lack of consistency. Let it be healthy eating or meditation or gyming – I failed countless times. But seeing my baby try all the various things so consistently makes me feel to ape him! 😛 I am sure the one reason for my success now is going to be his teaching!

  • Creativity – Trying something new every time is something that amazes me about him. The small brain inside him can relate anything anywhere – imagine he playing with a “griddle” singing “wheels on the bus” rhyme! 😀 😀

Well, we are humans and we get bored doing same things again and again. Think about it. Is it so difficult to just tweak a few things here and there – unplanned sometimes – and just be creative!! We are not machines to be monotonous isn’t it 😛

I am sure you have your own learnings (and challenges 😉 ) that you counter every day as a parent. Do share, I am eager to know if I am missing some fun! 😛

 

Mom’s lap.. ♥

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Mom 1My mom – the first one to know me when I was not even born. The one who cared me before me seeing this world, the one who understood me before even me understanding myself. The first and the most special relation I made in my life.

That’s what god says – “just because I can’t be present everywhere, I have given you a mom” 🙂

When I was born, my mom would have felt that I completed her world. I am sure she spent all these years dreaming about my future, praying for my well-being, protecting me from all the evils of the world.

In my childhood, she molded me to be a good human-being, gave me values of life that define what I am today, became a teacher (rather the most strict teacher :P) so I get the importance of education, played with me as a friend, taught me value of social life and the various relations that we hold. She sacrificed her own dreams for me and would have seen them come true through me.

Like a potter, she molded the pot of my life ♥

As I grew to the most rebellion age of teen, friends became priority. Mom became a character who imposes restrictions all the time. Listening to friends and being with them all the time was like a prestige of life, ignoring what mom had to say about it. Mom was like a old-fashioned person in life.  Though I loved her so much that time as well, I never bothered to tell her the same. She was more of a person whom I can take for granted anytime and everytime.

Mom silently absorbed all that and still kept caring the same way as she was.

Then came the age of early twenties. Mind and heart were full of dreams of bright future, college, career. Enjoyment of life was at the fullest.  New friends, new jobs, new environments kept coming and going and I got too involved in these attractions. Mom was at home, for me, just to be informed where I am. That’s it. Yeah, sometimes to order her to cook my favorite dishes.

Mom still adapted to whatever I did.

When I told her that I want to marry the person I love, of course her dreams of my marriage would have got scattered. However, just for my happiness, she agreed and made sure the biggest event of my life was made the most memorable one.

Even today, when I am busy managing work and home, she keeps calling me everyday to know my well-being. Sometimes I speak with her sometimes, sometimes disconnect her calls when I am in meetings, sometimes forget to call her back due to work, but she has not given up her consistency.

That’s what my mom is!!

Today, when I am taking this journey to be a mom soon, I realize what all my mom has done for me and what all I have given her in return.

Of course I never forgot my responsibilities towards her health, towards giving her those small surprises on her birthday and all, but when I look at what she has done for me, they all look too small to be done for her.

I feel lucky to have her in my life and feel sorry that I couldn’t do much for her that she really deserved.

I feel like silently putting my head in her lap and ask her forgiveness. I am sure whatever stage of life I am, my mom’s lap is the most secure place for me in this whole world where I will get unconditional love without any second thought.

Love you mom!