Mothers.. As We are..

I believe that “mother” is more of an emotion than a relation!

My journey to motherhood started 7 years back, when I first heard that I have a life growing in me. A feeling that cannot be explained in words!

Since then, it has been a continuous effort to be the best mother to my little one – and trust me, its quite stressful.

Sometimes I wonder, are all mothers the same like me? Do they feel the stress to be a perfect mother? Do they equally worry about their performance as a mother like I do all the time? Or it is just me – who is not able to do all that I should be doing as per my checklist? These thoughts increases the guilt within me.

It seems worries and guilts are a packaged deal with motherhood.

I am so thankful to the almighty, that he has blessed with a son who just as perfect as in the moral stories. And while I feel extremely lucky to be his mother, it has added a lot of guilts to my list.

• I feel sorry if I have to delay his meal time because of that business call that overran
• I feel guilty when I feel bored to clean up his room that is full of toys all around
• I feel bad when I cook a short-cut meal, because I am too tired, knowing well he needs a complete and nutritious meal
• I don’t feel good when he has something or the other to speak continuously but I cannot give him complete attention, as I have to cook and take care of home chores
• It is absolutely heart-wrenching when I punish him for a wrong-doing, even though I know it’s right

It is a constant thought in me that asks whether my baby will be as proud of me as I am of my mom? And in some situations, when the answer from deep within is a NO, it breaks me to the core.

It’s such a competitive world outside, and hence as mothers, we tend to implement all that is right for the little ones. We want to prepare them for the future. We want them to win. We want them to shine. And in this race, we sometimes forget that their childhood is precious.

It’s the time to live the moments with them, laugh at the funny questions they ask, wonder about the things they imagine. This is the time for love, care, laughs and hugs.

Both seem to two different worlds and that’s the fight in every mother’s heart.

Are we missing on all this? If yes, what is the “right protocol” for a mother to be the best combination of these two worlds?

They say that mother is a form of god. Yes, we are. We are bringing new life to the world. But we are a form of god, with a little imperfection, and hence this struggle.

This mother’s day, let’s pledge to be more accepting for who we are, more forgiving to our guilts, more loving to our little ones and more caring to our own moms!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers in this world! 🙂

Mom, Mam aani Majh Mann :)

Aaj majhya chimuklyacha vaadh divas.. 5 years :D he is a grown up boy now..

Pan aai cha mann tar ashcharyach karat rahat ki kadhi aapal chotas baaL moth hot.. Tichya saathi tar aaplya baaLabaddhal tech prem, tich kalaji, tech prashna astat.. 

Jevlas ka?? Kay kay kel aaj? Dabba khaallas ka?

Tyachi health, tyala sanskaar denyachi dhadpad, tyachya maagnya puravnyache prayatn.. thodkyat kay, to khush asava hi ichha..

Khar tar aaichh baaLapeksha niragas aste asa mhanayla kahi harkat nahi.. karan aai kadhi mothi nahi hot.. ti tar tashich rahate..

Majh hi asach kahis zaalaye. Vichar karun aashchraych vatat ki ha 5 varshacha pan zaala.. 😀

Pan ha majha hero, mala achanakach kahi na kahi anubhav det rahato.. aani mala jaaniv karun deto ki to motha hotoye.. aani mi te anubhav jagat jagat, hasat, majhya manala sangte.. ho.. majh baaL moth hotay 🙂

Kadhi eka samjuddar mulasarkh vicharto, Aai are u busy? Kadhi chidlel roop aai var vaitagat, mala usheer zaala tar ghari sangto, lights off kara, ti andhar zaala tar yeil.. Kadhi majesheer kahitari bolun jaato.. aai mi ajun thoda motha hoto aani mag mich drive karel, tu maage bas.. 😀 aani jar majhya shistichya palikade masti karaychi asel, tar agdi sahajpane sangto.. aaj tu office madhyech raha 🙂

Kadhi kadhi vatat, office aani ghar sambhalata sambhalata ashe kahi kshan aapan miss karun takle.. 

Pan haa nirnay tar majhach aahe.. ata ashe vichar kashala..

Mag vichar yeto to office madhlya lokancha.. 

Kadhi Mam, he kay, Mam te kay che prashna.. tar kadhi he asach honar kinvha nahi honar che thaam uttara.. Ithehi hotat, rusve fugve, kadhi masti, kadhi fakt kaamach kaam..

pratyekachya aayushycha pravas, jashi ek goshta.. konache gharche vishay, tar konache ghar bandhayche 🙂 pratyekachi gosht mala vegali vatate, aavadte..

Kahi tyanchyakadun shikte, kahi te hi shikat astil majhyakadun.. 

Swatala dheer denyasaathi he vichar purese thartat..

He zaal mom and mam baddhal..

Aani shevti majh mann.. business language madhye sangaych zaal tar the 3rd M of my M Triangle 🙂

Majhya iccha.. majhya aakanksha.. majh swatach ek vyaktimatva.. 

Majhye swapna… avneesh la vaadhtana baghnyache, tyachyasobat ek ghatt naat banavnyache.. tyala changl vait chi samajh denyache..

Aani kahi majhya career che, kahi tari karun dhakhavnyache.. aapli ek olakh nirman karnyache.. 

Aani kahi majhye swathache.. jag firnyache.. jagat jitke variety of food aahet te khanyache, slim honyache 😀 😀

Hech tar aahe majh vishwa.. 3 Ms of my life 😀 :D.. majhe M che trikon 😀 😀

2015 and the Apocalypse!

Yet another year is passing. the WORLD WIDE people on –  WEB are talking about new year resolutions, parties, memories, excitements – all cheerful, vibrant – all just perfect!!

And what am I doing? Writing this blog and at the same time thinking of the “cake to bake” in the evening. 😀

As I browse through my Facebook page, I see something called “Posts of 2015”. I click that and glimpse of my year long memories get
showcased one by one.

I won’t wonder if one day man creates something exactly like part of our brain that store memories 😛 After all, brain also has the rights to OUTSOURCE work 😀 😀

And then I take a recap on this year – 2015 and the Apocalypse

This year has been more of “maintaining” things than achieving more and more. And this has been a year of experiences that made me mature, made me strong emotionally – made me self-aware.

And friends, this is what I really learnt and practiced along this year:

• Confusions are good for life!!

This year gave me a lot of situations where I got confused, got bizarre with options – all equally important. And I had to scratch my head for nights to understand what to choose?

But you know what, confusions are good!! Because they let you analyse your priorities yet again. They create a bonding between you and your loved ones when you share the confusions. Your loved ones feel that their options matter to you! Confusions bring a momentum in your life – something different than your routine work – and of course they motivate you with a feeling of achievement when you really reach a final option for yourself!

Aren’t these benefits worth cherishing being confused???

• YOU are the power!!

Most of the time, we feel low when our expectations are not met, when our wishes are not fulfilled. But then look within. Why to feel dependent on someone else for your own happiness. Don’t you have any example of making someone else happy? And if its a yes, which I am sure it is, why not make just yourself happy!!

Think about it. You are the one who knows you in and out, your strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, your dreams, your compromises – a complete YOU. And so, isn’t it necessary valuing your own being?

YOU are the most important person for you.. Try this!!

• Work-life balance? – NO!! its more LIFE-WORK-MIND balance

Many talk about work life balance these days. Psychologists, corporate, your own family members!! But think for a moment? Why call it work-life balance and not LIFE-WORK balance? Isn’t work part of your life? Isn’t your life first??

And more than balancing life and work, isn’t it important to balance your responsibilities in them. Do you really have to feel guilty for that work-off you took when your son wasn’t well, or for those long hours you spend in office for an important delivery.

Every aspect of our life is important and unique in its own way. And hence, balance is important. Our situations decide how to act, and if we have this mental balance in life – life is all good!! Isnt it?

Well, I am sure you too would have a lot of learnings running in your mind as you recap your year long journey.

Let’s open our arms towards the sunset of this last day of 2015 and give a thankful adieu to 2015!

Wish you all a very happy and cheerful 2016!

 

 

What I learnt from you..

Just like the river that doesn’t stop flowing
No matter what happens, earthquake or flooding
Committed to dissolve in the arms of the sea
Leaving her identity, the attitude of “me’’
She doesn’t bother leaving her sweetness for blue
Such commitment is what, I learnt from you..

Just like that bird who is building her nest
Mud, twigs, leaves, she uses all at her best
Only thought in her mind, is the safety of young ones
Heat or wind, nothing bothers her, not even the sun
She wants the nest, strongly tied together in glue
Such care is what, I learnt from you..

Just like that tree, standing tall in pride
Years and years went till it got fruits that shine
Till then he waited, patiently every season
To grow just a bit more, thinking may be that’s the reason
Look at him now, soothing shadow, leaves with dew
Such patience is what, I learnt from you..

Just like the moon and the stars in the sky
Together they make a beauty, up, that high
Pleasant to the eyes, they have a charm a grace
Happy with what it is, they don’t have any race
Elegance cant be seen, with stars just a few
Such togetherness is what, I learnt from you..

Just like that mountain, hard and strong
Doesn’t ever change, clouds crash or wind takes him wrong
Steady he is, protective towards his beings
Unshaken, for good bad, seen unseen
Get your head high, to get this view
Such strong love, is what I learnt from you..

♥ Will you be my Valentine?? ♥

With you, I speak day and night
You know my thoughts, my insight
I can’t call you shadow, you are within
The best partner, you have always been
You don’t keep secrets, but you hold mine
Today, I ask you – Will you be my Valentine?

Like the sun, you brighten my world
Without you, every moment is curled
I rise with you fresh, as morning to noon
Should I call you miracle, or god’s boon?
You are my spirit, you are divine
Today, I ask you – Will you be my Valentine?

You are my star that never leaves the sky
Even when the clouds are low or high
This sky changes colours from dark to blue
You know me; I am an open book just for you
You hold me tight, make me shine
Today, I ask you – Will you be my Valentine?

Like the candle without a flame
Like the person without a name
I have no existence without you my dear
The best of buddies, you bring me cheer
Oh my soul! My heartbeat, my lifeline
Today, I ask you – Will you be my Valentine?

☯ A pearl has come inside its oyster ☯

Have you ever experienced it with yourself that when you really want something, you don’t get it but when you leave that expectation and move on, destiny plays its cards and get you the same thing at an unexpected time! I think the favourite game for destiny is “surprise”! ヅ

It was last November when I was planning for my year-end vacation, googling websites to explore various destinations, budgeting, talking to tour providers and what not! I just so desperately wanted this vacation – probably to run away from the medical ups and downs I saw last year. Probably to refresh life again! ✿

But as I said, destiny is unpredictable! Early December last year, I got the news – the happiest news of my life – that there is a tiny life that has come inside me. The ecstasy this news gave is something I cannot ever express in words.

❤ My pearl has come inside its oyster! ❤

✩ Felt like a tickle in the belly with my baby saying – Mom I have come for you! ✩

Everything around me changed. Suddenly I was the one most cared in the family. Whether I am having food on time, taking medicines on time, whether stressing myself too much or should I leave my job and relax at home – where things on the top of the minds of my family.

It euphoric! You suddenly feel like the queen of this world!! ♛

My world changed – entirely! ✩

It amazes me to see how baby grows inside. From a small dot size, how it takes shape of a human, how all organs are formed, how that small tiny heart beats – every aspect of it is the most beautiful gift of nature. Something that we will owe to nature always!

The feeling I had when I heard the heart beat for the first time, when I felt the kick for the first time, when I felt so uneasy sand unwell still happy thinking its after all because of my tiny tot – every little experience adds to the fulfillment of this journey.

Happy to be a woman getting a chance to experience this delightful phase! Poor husbands, they can only imagine how it would be and get happy with our expressions! ヅ

I am in my last trimester now, counting days to take the unborn in my hands, see the unseen whom I have just felt, and love more than anything else in this world!

❀ Is it a new life inside me or my life inside? ❀ 

12.12.12

December 12, 2012 – the last day in this century where the numeral date can be all the same number — 12/12/12. There is no 13th month to continue the series into next year, which makes this day unique.

There is already a lot of buzz around this date. Moms-to-be want their babies to be born on this date, couples wanting to marry are planning their wedding on this date, there are parties thrown to celebrate this special day. The environment is much more hullabaloo than I had really expected. 😉

All this excitement has triggered my enthusiasm to do something special to make it memorable for me in my own way.

After a lot of confused thoughts and a lot of ideas that got rejected by my own self, I finally decided to do something that’s easy and so called “important” 😛

Usually we make New Year resolutions on 31^st Dec, but then I thought why not utilize this much hyped date 12.12.12 to start implementing my pacts for next year. 😉

One more reason was, if the world at all ends tomorrow, then at least I will have the satisfaction that I decided to do “right” things but couldn’t do because of destiny. 😛

So, as soon as I come to this “decision”, my mind started preparing a list of resolutions that I should have for myself. I wanted them to be realist, measurable and achievable.

This year has given me a lot of happy moments, lot of memories; a lot of teachings as well. This year has made me more mature to handle life and take situations on ease. So, I should say a stylish “good-bye” to this year.

So here comes the list for a happier life:

1)    I will call my mom every day without fail. 🙂

2)    I will continue my meditation without being lazy 😉 Hmm, a difficult one..

3)    I will give myself enough time to be on my own. I will take time out of this hectic home-work-home routine to pamper my own self.

4)    I will save every 10% of my salary every month. I will concentrate more on my savings rather than my shopping. 😉 hmm, ok..

5)    I will learn a new language. Probably, Arabic this time 😉

6)   I will visit 2 new places. Wow, now that’s something! 😉

I am sure these small and simple things will make a difference in my life.

I am all geared up to witness a fresh start from tomorrow!

So, what’s special for you on 12.12.12?

A Big Thank-You!

“A journey indeed, in an emotional roller-coaster.” ― Ana Monnar

This date – 30^th September – is very special to me because 8 years ago on this date was my first step in the corporate world!

When I had entered my office on the 1^st day, my heart just had confidence in it which said this journey will be fun! Apart from that were imaginations of how a “working” life will be, a little butterfly feeling in the stomach, a bit of nervousness, a bit of excitement – a mixed bag sitting in the corner of my heart!

This journey has given me a lot – bitter sweet memories, learning and maturity, patience, people who become friends, achievements, disappointments – in short a big, colourful balloon of experiences! 🙂

Today, through this post, I thank all the people who directly and indirectly played a role in my journey. I have learnt something or the other from each one of you that has helped me grow.

Each and every memory of this journey is fresh in my heart and is my wealth earned!

A BIG THANK-YOU TO ALL!

Horizon – where aspirations meet reality!

“The horizon leans forward, offering you space to place new steps of change” ~ Maya Angelou

In our life we have aspirations and we have reality. Aspirations – high as the sky –are full of energy, full of positivity, full of hope. On contrary, there is reality with a “take what comes your way attitude” – very calculative, very controlled, very rigid.

.. And this chase of making our aspirations meet reality is called LIFE – OUR HORIZON! 🙂

Now you might think of many other metaphors used for life and might wonder why I chose it to be called Horizon. Well, there is a reason – something I can relate to my own life!

The horizon keeps moving ahead the nearer we go, and so does the reality. There is never an end to both; there is never a final destination to both! 🙂

My life has been a journey reaching this horizon and every time I thought I was just there, it moved far again – every time leaving something behind – good and bad – adding milestones to life!

This month, 8 years ago – I started my professional life. Long way! It feels great and satisfied that I could make my life something that I aspired!

It started with an aspiration to gift a home to my parents and thanks to my luck that supported it well to turn it a reality. It was tough, challenging and needed a lot of hard work. However, as it’s said – “where there is a will, there is a way”!

It felt like touching the sky when this aspiration became a part of my real life! The moment of handing keys to my parents and the love and pride in their shining eyes is still the most special moment of my life – the first horizon of my life! 🙂

Well, as I said, there is no end to this. Aspirations – small and big kept me moving.  Kept me busy converting them to reality. One after the other, the journey towards horizon continued..

New people, new companies, new designations, new geographies, new trips, new salary figures;) – all a part of this journey!

Today, I am satisfied of what I am doing, what I have done so far. Still I see that horizon that I want to reach – to become a person who inspires others, who is looked up with respect, who is known for good things, who is taken as an example.

I am travelling towards it – with a dream to make it a reality!

 

Happy Independence Day

India is celebrating 66^th Independence Day today. All the radio stations are playing patriotic songs, television channels showing patriotic movies, news papers are full of the tri-colour and our hearts are full of pride – PRIDE of BEING INDIAN.

While attending the flag hoisting ceremony today in my society, I got nostalgic with memories of my school days. My father being in defense, I was fortunate enough to study in an Air Force School – Kendriya Vidyala AFS Pune. Even after 12 years of passing out of this school, I have the same attachment with it as I had while studying there.

Kendriya Vidyalayas are not such schools that teach you subjects – they teach you values of life, they teach you patriotism, they teach you to adapt to the various cultures spread amongst all the states in India. KVs have students from almost all the states because defense officers get interstate transfers every 3 years of their service.

While in schools, celebrations like Independence Day and Republic Day used to be very different. From dances, songs, parades, stories of our freedom fighters, speeches from Air Force Chiefs to the queue for those 2 “laddoos”, everything was pure, innocent – everything that always made me feel special about being an Indian.

School memories are always special in everyone’s life. For me, they are precious.

Being a defense school, most of my friends had their father, brothers, cousins, uncles – serving the nation on the border. Though it always felt good about this thought, I experienced the real depth of this fact in the year of Kargil war.

Since the time Kargil war was declared, our school had become still. My friends, teachers, schoolmates – everybody had a fear in themselves; worries on their faces about their loved ones on the border, prayers on their lips for them and confidence in their hearts that they will come back soon with a VICTORY.

I guess these experiences are something I can never put in words, something I might never be able to tell. These are just in my heart that keeps reminding me of the tough life our soldiers have and the sacrifices they do.

In Kargil war, one of our teachers lost her son whose age was merely 27 at the time of war. And yes, let me tell you that she had lost her husband in the war of 1971. I have seen her sorrow myself, however every time I met her after that, she posed a proud face – a face so contented to say that her son has given his life for the country.

She is not just one, there are so many such examples around us. I have heard about a village in Punjab where all the boys join army after their education without thinking of any other profession.

One more experience that had stunned me was a meeting with one of the army officers who used to stay in our neighborhood. He described to us life of soldiers at the border during war and believe me – it was UNIMAGINABLE.

He had survived in the war only because he had managed to hide himself behind a rock for 3 days – without food and without water – and in midst of bullet firing from the terrorists. However he didn’t have the fear of it in his eyes, what he had was spark when he said he shot 4 terrorists with his gun.

Today, when the Indian youth is more attracted towards jobs in IT and opportunities overseas, I feel honored to say that my brother who had an option to complete his BCS and take a highly paid job, joined Navy to serve the nation. I am so very proud of you brother!

In spite of extreme weather conditions, no water, no food, away from the family – the soldiers save our country. They are the real heros of our country because of whom we can freely breathe and live our life in peace.

Thank you to all our men and women in the armed forces who have sacrificed so much to keep us all safe and free. I SALUTE YOU ALL.

Jai Hind